One month ago, things were much different than they are now. Life was pretty good until the day in late January my wife announced that she was going to talk to a counselor and she wouldn’t say why. I knew things had been a little strained for the last couple of weeks but I had absolutely no idea why. Perhaps I had done something thoughtless or insensitive. She had alluded to stress at work and worried about her aging father so maybe, just maybe, it was something beyond my control.

Like any marriage, ours had gone through its ups and downs. Still, I was a bit worried. “A counselor,” I thought. “What’s going on?”

Still, after the counselor visit, it took four more days for the dam to break. She was very reluctant to talk. I picked and picked at her, demanding to know what was going on, demanding her tell me what was so wrong. Finally, the flood overtopped the dam. She was completely finished with the relationship. Nine years of marriage, two years of dating before that and 10 years of earlier friendship were washed away in an instant.

I wanted to fight for the relationship. I promised myself I would do everything I could. Soon, I realized, however, that fighting was useless. She had made up her mind that it was over. She had decided that the best thing was to divorce and for us to move on separately. Once I accepted her decision, I regained hope.

Acceptance and the outpouring of support from friends and family, made things easier. We bickered a bit, but never had any intense arguments. I know other people’s divorces could be horrifically damaging. This was not the case. She made things as easy as she could. Decisions were made for joint custody of the children and for the division of assets and liabilities.

She made a deposit on an apartment nearby and began packing and moving things over each night. Today she took the final load of household items and one cat to her apartment. It took 20 minutes.

One month. It has been one month. One month ago, I had had no idea that were were in serious trouble. Now we are separated and on the brink of divorce. It all happened in one month.